Written by Lynda Fisher, Head of Primary School

Behaviour management describes the process of supporting learners to make smart choices that help them learn and build healthy and positive social interactions. 

Why teach explicit behavioural expectations? 

Schools where students flourish require the establishment and maintenance of positive, safe and productive classroom and playground environments where all students can be successful and thrive. Ideally, effective behavioural management is integrated within a multi-tiered system of behaviour support. This centres around positive and respectful relationships between the school, the parents, and students.  

To support student social and emotional growth and to help them flourish, schools need to: 

• explicitly teach behavioural expectations, school routines, and school values 
• ensure consequences for misbehaviours are consistent and fair 
• provide positive feedback and reinforcement for positive behaviours 
• engage students in restorative and reflective practices when necessary  
• provide supervised, safe and organised environments  
• help students build respectful connections with others  

Choose the right behaviour  

Many children do not understand that although they cannot choose their feelings in the immediate circumstances of conflict, they can learn to choose their behaviour or response. They are also learning to recognise that each behaviour choice they make has a consequence. Some consequences are organic and inherent to the nature of the behaviour, while some are imposed by adults. 

Fairness and Consistency  

When the adults in a child’s world provide fair and consistent consequences, children learn self-discipline and accountability. But when adults are reactive and inconsistent, or make excuses for a child’s behaviour, children may learn to reject or rebel against authority. Difficulties arise when the experiences in a child’s home differ from the social norms of schooling, and this can cause confusion and angst for children. 

Conflict choices versus friendly choices 

Children are often required to make choices in how they respond to possible conflicts or challenges which may arise. They can make conflict-causing choices or friendly, co-operative choices. If a child refuses to play with another student, they must choose their reaction to being excluded. They could cry, shout at, or physically push the student to show that they are feeling hurt at being excluded. These are examples of conflict choices. If, however, the student responds to being excluded by going to find another playmate or seek out alternate conversation with more welcoming students, this is a friendly choice. They gain the upper hand; they make their own decision to take control and they reinforce their capability to problem solve a solution. They are empowered by choosing not to let others dictate their happiness.  

Empathy 

When a student chooses friendly choices, they are learning to problem solve on their own. They show empathy for others and begin to realise that the child who has upset them is often the child who is still learning to play or socialise with others fairly and kindly. They learn to understand that mean-on-purpose behaviours are often the result of a child who has not yet developed their skills of interacting positively with others.  

Internal versus external locus of control 

The goal is to teach our students to react using their internal locus of control (make decisions based on their moral compass and self-talk), rather than their external locus of control (to avoid getting into trouble or being caught doing the wrong thing). Our goal is to teach students to assume responsibility for their actions, to show empathy for others, to see the value in upholding our school values and steer them towards friendly, collaborative choices that promote healthy and harmonious connections with others.  

Student Development Program 

For this reason, students engage in daily moral curricula, our Student Development program called Growing Moriah Minds. They learn to use their brains to respond, to reflect and connect with others, to problem solve, to be resilient and to be kind. When a student has made an inappropriate behavioural choice, reflection time is used to help the child see their error, to understand who their actions have impacted and to help them consider alternative future responses and take steps to rectify or repair where possible. The use of restorative (as opposed to punitive) practices encourages students to take responsibility and be accountable for their actions. This is a crucial component to their social and emotional growth.  

It means as educators and parents we:  

• do not make excuses for their behaviour 
• model appropriate behaviour and support efforts of correcting their behaviour when necessary 
• help them process their feelings accurately and appropriately 
• follow through consistently with consequences so that they learn to see setbacks or mistakes as opportunities to develop resilience and develop their ability to make smarter choices.  

School and Family Partnerships 

The consistent implementation of proactive, research-informed practices for behaviour management is essential in growing healthy, compassionate, and morally conscious human beings. However, this requires parental support and a united approach so that the child understands all support-adults are working to help them flourish and be the best possible version of themselves. The partnership between the school and parents equips children with the strategies to engage effectively in conflict resolution, active listening and self-calming, so they have the best chance of achieving their “high-performing self”.  

High Expectations 

Their correct behavioural choices are rewarded and their mistakes are corrected as per the above narrative. Thus we recognise the school values of respect כבוד, commitment מחויבות,  responsibility אחריות, integrity יושרה, and kindness חסד and grow greatness in each student according to their needs profile.  

Belonging 

Behaviour expectations and school rules provide students with clear guidelines for how to behave in the classroom and the play areas and create positive and productive learning and social environments. When we set high expectations for our students, we are showing them that they are cared for, that they matter, and that they are an important part of our Moriah Family. School rules are designed to ensure a safe, productive, and supportive environment for all students. It leads to academic success, a sense of belonging, and improved social-emotional wellbeing. By establishing clear expectations for behaviour, we create a space where all students feel respected and valued. This fosters a sense of belonging and encourages positive social interactions amongst peers and with the adults in their world. It sets students up for success and is a precondition to student engagement and learning. When school routines and behaviour expectations are transparent, consistent, and respected, they help to create consistency of behaviour, which promotes a sense of trust and reliability, and reduces stress or uncertainty about how a student is expected to behave.  

Developing resilience in children means increasing their vocabulary and toolbox of strategies to respond to challenges they encounter socially, physically, and academically. The language of personal conduct, internal dialogue, and social interaction is taught all day, every day, and the more skilled and fluent the child is at referencing their toolbox, the more likely it is that success will occur. Fertile ground has been laid across the Primary School and student growth is evident and celebrated across the years. Let’s celebrate a partnership that is well established and well worth it. Parents, children, and educators – the triangle of truth for future prosperity.