Written by Lynda Fisher, Head of Primary School

Imagine your once adorable child, full of smiles and hugs, suddenly transforming into a moody, irritable teenager. This transformation often leaves parents feeling bewildered and concerned, which is why our Primary School and High School wellbeing and teaching teams recently joined forces to host a parenting session with well-known psychiatrist Dr Lisa Myers.

The focus of the event was on understanding the significant physical and cognitive changes that children undergo between the ages of 11 and 15, as they transition from Primary School to High School. Navigating this tumultuous period can feel like walking a tightrope. However, understanding these changes is crucial to guiding our children successfully through adolescence. Our talk with Dr Myers was the perfect opportunity to help equip Moriah parents and educators with strategies to traverse the complexities of this often challenging time.

Understanding the Big Change

Children between 11 and 15 experience their most significant period of change since their early childhood (the first five years). This stage is marked by dramatic physical and cognitive developments, often resulting in mood swings, irritability, and emotional volatility. Recognising these changes as a normal part of growth is essential for parents and educators to provide appropriate support and guidance.

Navigating Behavioural Shifts

During adolescence, children’s thinking styles shift significantly. They begin to push boundaries, act impulsively, and often make decisions that may seem irrational. Dr Myers emphasised the importance of parents being realistic about these changes and understanding the underlying brain development. Michael Carr-Gregg’s analogy of the brain “undergoing renovation” at this time of life highlights the need for patience and thoughtful responses from parents.

When to Worry

Typical adolescent behaviour includes mood changes and irritability, but parents should be vigilant for signs that deviate from the norm, such as antisocial behaviour, refusal to attend school, lying, stealing, or involvement in illegal activities. Significant changes in eating and sleep patterns and sustained low mood are also red flags that may indicate deeper issues requiring intervention.

Parenting Styles and Strategies

Dr Myers recommended an authoritative parenting style, which balances clear rules and expectations with open communication and empathy. This approach helps teens learn from their mistakes while understanding the importance of responsible behaviour. Allowing natural consequences to occur, rather than shielding teens from the outcomes of their actions, promotes growth and accountability.

Addressing Social Media and Peer Influence

The pervasive influence of social media poses significant challenges for teenagers. Parents should model rational thought, inclusivity, and respect while guiding their teens to use social media responsibly. Encouraging teens to fact-check information and understand the difference between online myths and reality is crucial.

Consistent and Persistent Parenting

Consistency in enforcing rules and expectations is vital. Parents should give clear instructions, follow up consistently, and avoid power struggles. Recognising and praising positive behaviour while explaining the benefits of following rules can help reinforce desired actions.

The key takeaway

Our collaborative session with Dr Myers emphasised the importance of understanding and supporting the developmental changes that occur during adolescence. By adopting realistic, empathetic, and consistent parenting strategies, parents and educators can help teens navigate this challenging period. The future implications of these efforts are profound, as they lay the foundation for well-adjusted, responsible, and resilient adults. Embracing the journey from “huggable to horrible” and back with patience and understanding ultimately strengthens the parent-child relationship and fosters positive outcomes for our young people.