Written by Rabbi Krebs, College Rabbi

Should we be concerned about how we are perceived by others, or is it only Hashem’s opinion that counts? On the one hand, Hashem is the ultimate judge, and it is only in Hashem’s eyes that we should seek favour. On the other hand, we live in a society where perceptions matter; our image and reputation are crucial aspects of our lives.

Rabbi Shimon said, “There are three crowns: the crown of Torah, the crown of kehuna (being a Kohain), and the crown of kingship, but the crown of a good name surpasses them all.” A good name, our reputation, is perhaps our hardest-earned asset, developed through actions and behaviours admired by those around us.

What’s more important: Social or Divine approval?

In this week’s parsha, Moshe speaks to the tribes of Gad and Reuven regarding their desire to settle on the east bank of the Jordan River. After negotiations about the terms of the settlement, Moshe tells the tribes that if they send their armies to help liberate the land of Israel and build homes for their families and pens for their flocks, then they will be “clean in the eyes of Hashem and of Israel.”

Our commentators explain that there is an equal need to do what is moral and upright not only in the eyes of Hashem but also in the eyes of our fellow man. If we conduct ourselves in a way that looks dubious, even if it is completely honest and correct, we are considered to have transgressed because we have given the wrong impression to our fellow man. Conversely, if we act in a way that appears moral, ethical, and upright, yet our intent is negative, we deceive those around us—we may be clean in the eyes of man but not in the eyes of Hashem—we are similarly flawed in our character.

The Jewish perspective is complex; we need to, like a chameleon, allow our two eyes to focus on different directions simultaneously—one ensuring that our intentions, motives, and actions are clean, and the other making sure that our interpersonal behaviour is beyond reproach. 

We need to be clean in the eyes of Hashem and in the eyes of man–we need both.